Monday, June 07, 2004
Tanya hates music.
All of it. No exceptions.
This very funny and very, very irreverent - if not sacrilegious - blog takes a blowtorch to all of your favourites, tearing down the great, excoriating the not-so-great and ripping to shreds the rest.
On Bob Dylan, Tanya writes:
'Bob Dylan sucks. Period. Anything else I write after this would be superfluous, but such is my hatred for him that I'll continue.
Bob Dylan is a monstrous man. He has a face that gives nightmares to small children ...
... He wouldn't know a melody if one bit him in the ass, waited for him to turn around, and announced, "Hi, I'm a melody!" His tunes are consistently dull and plodding.
And that voice! Christ! Someone put it out of its misery! ... He singlehandedly made it safe for any Joe Blow with an acoustic guitar and a reedy voice to, not only get a record contract, but to sell millions of records! ... He makes Leonard Cohen sound like Sinatra; Lou Reed like Bing Crosby! ... Look at all he's wrought! And for what? "Like A Rolling Goddamn Stone"? Fuck that!'
That was one of Tanya's earliest posts - from May 2000. She hasn't become any more refined. OK, anyone can write satire in small amounts, but I Hate Music has developed an entire encyclopedia of rejection of modern - and not-so-modern - music.
It works.
Especially - ironically - if you love music.
This very funny and very, very irreverent - if not sacrilegious - blog takes a blowtorch to all of your favourites, tearing down the great, excoriating the not-so-great and ripping to shreds the rest.
On Bob Dylan, Tanya writes:
'Bob Dylan sucks. Period. Anything else I write after this would be superfluous, but such is my hatred for him that I'll continue.
Bob Dylan is a monstrous man. He has a face that gives nightmares to small children ...
... He wouldn't know a melody if one bit him in the ass, waited for him to turn around, and announced, "Hi, I'm a melody!" His tunes are consistently dull and plodding.
And that voice! Christ! Someone put it out of its misery! ... He singlehandedly made it safe for any Joe Blow with an acoustic guitar and a reedy voice to, not only get a record contract, but to sell millions of records! ... He makes Leonard Cohen sound like Sinatra; Lou Reed like Bing Crosby! ... Look at all he's wrought! And for what? "Like A Rolling Goddamn Stone"? Fuck that!'
That was one of Tanya's earliest posts - from May 2000. She hasn't become any more refined. OK, anyone can write satire in small amounts, but I Hate Music has developed an entire encyclopedia of rejection of modern - and not-so-modern - music.
It works.
Especially - ironically - if you love music.
