Monday, June 28, 2004

 

Meet my staff. He's asleep under the desk.

All this time, The Ranger thought the idea of 'reviewing' blogs was just a bit of fun.

The Ranger would never willingly criticise a blog. They're people's personal chronicles; not movies, theatre productions or art shows that you pay for. Yes, they are in the public domain, but they are also freely accessed.

The Ranger is clearly naive. There is a dollar to be made in blog reviewing.

He has discovered The Weblog Review, a very serious-looking site at which you can actually pay to have someone tell you what they think of your blog.

Imagine doing that in real life - offering to read and comment on people's diaries for a price.

The Weblog Review's 'Review Staff' list shows more than twenty 'current staff members' and close to a hundred 'retired staff members'.

Staff? The Ranger has no staff, just a snoring dog for company.







Sunday, June 27, 2004

 

SHOCK NEWS - SERIAL BLOG MURDER!

Chilling news for anyone running a free blog.

'Blogging pioneer Dave Winer unexpectedly closed Weblogs.com, his free blog-hosting service, on Sunday, leaving thousands of bloggers without access to their blogs. Blogs affected by the shutdown now redirect to a generic message posted by Winer. Some bloggers are screaming that the shutdown is a serial "blog murder." Other bloggers slammed the people whose blogs have vanished from the Internet, saying that no one should expect continuity from a free service.'
The Ranger has been concened about this for quite some time:

'And is blogger secure (if not I hope they have backed it up, you wouldn't like to see it disappear!)'

If you have something irreplaceable on your blog, like your life story, your next best-seller novel or your Christmas card list, copy and paste it somewhere now.






Friday, June 25, 2004

 

If they could make a radio out of coconuts on Gilligan's Island ...

... why couldn't they fix the hole in the boat?

Good question. I found it here.
 

What's a good name for a goldfish?

And You Think it Really Matters? is a blog from Brisbane, Australia. Pause4Thought is an animal attendant so there's lots of stuff about animals, including Pause4Thought's very cute new Welsh Springer Spaniel, Lil.

Check out the names of her goldfish.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

 

What goes on behind the scenes at an ad agency?

Not too much advertising, if this is any guide.

Warning: strong language.
 

Elude your inner censor*.

Just one of the fascinating posts at A Writer's Jottings, which is essentially a compendium of writing techniques and hints from a number of different authors, mostly Dave Fox, all brought together by Tara, 19, of Miami, FL.

*Especially the copyright censor.
 

This guy sure gets around.

Cameron Martindell'stravel chronicle is simply one of the best I've seen.

Buckle up for the ride, armchair travellers!

Sunday, June 20, 2004

 

Would you like a bag with that?

Tim is Retail Blog, a very amusing record of working in a store.

Which would be great, except for the customers.

So you're working in a store, when someone you knew at school suddenly recognises you.

The post on that was so good, I'm going to quote part of it verbatim (pun intended):

Good-looking Stranger: Tim?
Me: (thinking they look familiar but horrible with names) Yeah...?
Jeanette: Jeanette MacGillicuddy from Mr. Wilson's algebra class! Wow, I thought that was you!
Me: Oh, uh...yeah. So...um, what have you been up to?
Jeanette: Well, after high school I went to the UCLA and majored in marine biology and Nepalese Veterinary Science. But I decided it wasn't my thing so I got a job lying on the beach in Italy counting money. Then I met my husband and we had two beautiful children who never misbehave. They're out in the Benz, reading Tolstoy to prepare for kindergarten. So what have you been up to?
Me: Ummm...This.
Jeanette: Haha! Oh, you're so funny. Helping out here for the Christmas rush? Really, what was your major?
Me: Film.
Jeanette: Oh, that must be exciting! Do you live in Hollywood?
Me: I still live here in this shitty one-horse town. I hate LA. Wouldn't move there if my life depended on it. I wasted my time getting the degree, it left me in debt up to my scalp, and I never married either, so let me beat you to the punch on that one. Every day is a struggle not to end it all. But hey, good to see you!


Visit Retail Blog. And never diss a sales clerk again.

And by the way, Tim has written THE killer record review line of the year: Loretta’s great new album, while a bit more electric than I’d expect from a woman in her 70s, is not heavy metal by a long shot.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

 

Budding conservative writer shapes up to liberal academic establishment.

Strike Thee With Curses is a young writer's journal of jousting with liberal bias in academia and media.

The Ranger, being apolitical - or is it non-political? - knows nothing, of course, about these issues, but he has been told on occasion that 'liberal academic' is, on some campuses (campi? - no, surely not), an oxymoron.

Whatever. The Ranger cannot comment, having sworn never to discuss religion, politics or sex. (And having never visited a university.)

Nevertheless, the observation can be made that it is always heartening to see young writers - of any political persuasion - making lucid argument, countering error, and generally adding value to political discourse.

Which is really not difficult given the quality of some - paid - mainstream journalists.

Write on, LEM!

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

 

Just cut my freakin' hair, OK?

So you go to the hairdresser/barber/stylist and you just want your hair cut/styled/blow-waved. And you don't want to talk. But the hairdresser wants to talk, right? What do you do?

You out-talk them.

The guy's a stand-up comedian posing as an IT guy. He has three children, BAD1, BAD2 and BAD3.

And a cat. Reluctantly.

Monday, June 14, 2004

 

They're all doing blog articles.

A new phenomenon occurs, the newspapers do a story on it.

Now Time writes about blogging.

'Why are more and more people getting their news from amateur websites called blogs?' asks Time. And, answering itself, it says, 'Because they're fast, funny and totally biased.'

Well, the first two, OK, but a mainstream media organisation accusing someone else of being biased?

Excuse The Ranger while he chokes on his coffee.







Thursday, June 10, 2004

 

Odyssey.

Priya, of Mango Latte, is an American self-chronicler of Indian extraction studying African history, posting her personal odyssey from despair to joy via a journey through South and Central America.

From somewhere in the archives:

i'm in paradise and life is perfect. pretty much.
so. today since i am shunning the newspapers and electing to revel in my travel fantasy-land instead, i can write about what has been making me so happy.
first of all: pucon. a description. geographically, pucon is like a mullet: business in the front, party in the back. volcan villarica with its imposing stature and snow and ice and sulfuric gaseous emissions marks pucon's no-nonsense front, so to speak, while a beach (albeit of black volcanic gravel) on an idyllic, resorty lake keeps the good times goin on the back side of the town. in between are some forests and the few cutesy wooden-cabin-and-touristy-joints blocks that comprise the town itself ...

kristina and i spent monday at the lake beach, sunning and dunking ourselves (with underwear and newspapers instead of bathing suits and towels, lest this all sound too picture-perfect). and yesterday, of course, was volcano day.


It's great stuff. Elsewhere:

i'm being, i must admit, rocked with violent fears at the moment. what the fuck is wrong with me that i, with all kinds of access to cosmopolitain luxuries and incomes and social flurries, have decided to spend the month before my 23rd birthday living by myself in a village of 1,000 on the coast of ecuador that is accessible only by taking a bus from the capitol to a place where i have to take a canoe and then walk for half an hour on an empty beach?

Amazing. This is a blog that makes compulsive reading.

And check out the photos of south western Bolivia, just beyond the Chilean border. Wow. Take me there.




Monday, June 07, 2004

 

Tanya hates music.

All of it. No exceptions.

This very funny and very, very irreverent - if not sacrilegious - blog takes a blowtorch to all of your favourites, tearing down the great, excoriating the not-so-great and ripping to shreds the rest.

On Bob Dylan, Tanya writes:

'Bob Dylan sucks. Period. Anything else I write after this would be superfluous, but such is my hatred for him that I'll continue.

Bob Dylan is a monstrous man. He has a face that gives nightmares to small children ...

... He wouldn't know a melody if one bit him in the ass, waited for him to turn around, and announced, "Hi, I'm a melody!" His tunes are consistently dull and plodding.

And that voice! Christ! Someone put it out of its misery! ... He singlehandedly made it safe for any Joe Blow with an acoustic guitar and a reedy voice to, not only get a record contract, but to sell millions of records! ... He makes Leonard Cohen sound like Sinatra; Lou Reed like Bing Crosby! ... Look at all he's wrought! And for what? "Like A Rolling Goddamn Stone"? Fuck that!'


That was one of Tanya's earliest posts - from May 2000. She hasn't become any more refined. OK, anyone can write satire in small amounts, but I Hate Music has developed an entire encyclopedia of rejection of modern - and not-so-modern - music.

It works.

Especially - ironically - if you love music.


 

What kind of thinker are you?

Found this neat quiz at Book Kitten.

Turns out The Ranger is a 'Naturalist Thinker':

'Naturalist thinkers like to understand the natural world, and the living beings that inhabit it, have an aptitude for communicating with animals and try to understand patterns of life and natural forces.'

Fine. Shame it hasn't turned into a naturalist-thinking career:

'Careers which suit naturalist thinkers include
biologist, meteorologist, forester, farmer, astronomer, alternative therapist.'


The Ranger is no weatherman, wouldn't know a star from a planet and doesn't drive a tractor.

Can't see The Ranger going back to school any time soon. Maybe he will just get another dog.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

 

More tales from the library.

Or 'liberry' in the vernacular.

As Juice says: ' ...there are so many unbelievably interesting and frightening characters who cross my path on a regular basis that I can no longer allow such great material to go to waste. (Particularly since so many of the better ones keep dying or getting packed off to jail.)'.

Check out the Rogue's Gallery.

Oh, and since when did 'liberries' loan hammers?

Compelling reading.

Speaking of libraries, the Melbourne Herald Sun (5 June 2004) reports that the books most stolen from libraries are the works of small-time-crim-turned-author Chopper Read followed by The Joy Of Sex and then the Kama Sutra. Could it be that Chopper has a little plan going to boost sales?

Library co-ordinator Roisin Jacobs said: 'The true crime books got closer and closer to the (borrowing) desk. Now they are kept in a drawer.'

Well, it's a strategy, I guess, but you can't keep the whole library in a draw!

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

 

Is that an Australian Kelpie I see?

What happens when your septic tank overflows and then, because it's like, fertiliser, it makes your grass grow?

You mow the grass of course.

(The Ranger knows this from personal experience, unfortunately. Twice.)

Mel posts about life as an art student in Georgia, the armpit of America (her description - The Ranger is just reporting, right?).

It's a lotta fun. Go there now.

(Someone tell me what that breed of dog is in the masthead. It looks like an Australian Kelpie. My farmer uncle had one once. Name of Bluey. Why? Because its coat was red.)

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