The Lost Blogs' Home.

Two years ago, Janis Gore's masthead read Life on the Mississippi, Lucifer's little acre, and Lucy, the blogging baby parrot.

Now the masthead shows that Lucy is growing up.

Ah, those teenage Solomon Islands Eclecti years!

'Lucy went today for a wing clip. It took just a few minutes and wasn't too traumatic.'

And the gear they insist on taking everywhere!

'With Lucy's gear we had a full load ... Lucy had a small bag, her acrylic travel cage and her playtree. That's why we own an SUV.'

But sometimes they just won't talk to you!

'The drive home was easy. I tried to teach Lucy to say "Lyman, are we there yet?", but she was having none of it.'

(Ornithology fact: originally it was thought that, because of their different colourings, the male and female Solomon Islands Eclectus were two different species. What, you need coloured feathers to work that one out?)

Gone South is one of the great blogs.

Bit of a sniffle. Don't want it to turn into a full-blown cold.

So how fortunate is this? Freedom is a Cupcake has posted a bunch of cool blog reviews (5/29 - no hyperlink) to save The Ranger the effort!

While you're there, check out the Freedom is a Cupcake free reader offer. What a cool idea - a hard copy version (well, it's hard copy if you print it out) of Freedom is a Cupcake (publisher, Kinko's - 'where the copiers never sleep') sent to your inbox as a word document. This special director's cut version includes bonus writings not found in the online version.

Thank you, Patrick. Your career as a writer is assured. But no more freebies! You have to eat!

Now - speaking of eating - some chicken soup for The Ranger and then off to bed.

'Opening a drawer to the desk, he removed a revolver and lodged it behind his suit coat in his belt. The email had him worried, and he was going to be prepared. It was Friday, and the weekend had begun. But, it was going to be a long night.'

No doubt there's a bottle of Four Roses next to the revolver. Or out on the desk next to the fax/modem/printer/scanner.

From an interactive writing blog where everything is not as it seems.

Every day reveals more and more interesting web-based writing.

Visit The Food Whore.

Kris is a caterer and a brilliant writer. That's all you need to know.

(Newspaper editors, do you know your foodie journalists are now a threatened species?

And do you know why?)

ShaeSin is Ranting Virgo.

She says: 'I hate it when my blogging friends (ahem, Sean and Brian) don't post things to their blogs.'

I hate that too. I mean, how inconsiderate! Blog, friends, BLOG! I tell you. It is your responsibility as a ... as a ... blogger. And a friend.

ShaeSin confesses: 'Okay, so I have maybe 4 websites a day I visit. That's it. Half of them are mine, because I'm weird, and am constantly re-reading my stuff for typos.'

ShaeSin, having more than one blog does not make you weird, nor does re-reading them, OK? We all do it. Well, some of us do it. Well, The Ranger does it. Typos hpapen. And if you don'r re-raed yuor bolg htey reporduce.

And then: 'But these few sites I visit have links to sites they visit, which have links to sites they visit. It can get way out of hand if you start to delve in. I may be delving in. It may get out of hand.'

Ha! We're all delving in. It's like that strange dream (or was it a movie?) where you visit someone and there's an interesting door in the hallway behind which are more interesting doors and more doors and more doors and you end up who knows where ...

Cool. Read about the ant invasion - (Operation Purple Rain, May 19 - hyperlink not working) - I can identify. (Genuine ant anecdote: someone I once worked with had such a bad ant problem at their art studio, they had to suspend their packed lunch in a small plastic bucket on a string attached to the ceiling. One day, the ants found the lunch.)

The Ranger doesn't get out much. Too many blogs to review. He just takes the dog for a walk occasionally.

So it's no wonder he misses things. Fortunately, he has a range of reliable bloggers to keep him up to date.

One such example is the following site which he found on a previously reviewed blog, Book Kitten.

Check out Book a Minute and you can digest a world of literature in minutes. It's very funny. The Ranger, who read Animal Farm in one sitting on New Year's Eve, 1972 (true story!), particularly enjoyed the two versions provided here, one for each 'level' on which you read the George Orwell novel. The Ranger was kind of in between levels at the tender age at which he read the book.

(Speaking of digesting, it's a funny thing, but although The Ranger observed, years ago, that while many folks had entire bookshelves of Readers' Digest Condensed Books, he never recalls anyone actually reading them.)

Finally, apologies if you have seen this before, worldy-wise bloggers everywhere!

In Australia, the cost of a pack of Winfield 25s is $9.85.

Of that price, 65% goes to Government coffers as tax.

That is correct - 65% - not 6.5%.

This massive tax grab from the smoker was a cynical ploy originally sold to the public as a 'health measure'. The Government hoped smokers would give up the habit because they couldn't afford it, as in 'Oh my, look at the price of those fags, I don't think I'll buy any today. Or ever again.'

Duh.

So gradually the price racheted up and the tax take ratio increased and smoking levels settled at about 22-27% of the adult male population.

There are other implications. Less bang for your buck leads to teenagers searching for alternative ways to get a hit or to rebel. Hello, drugs.

Lesson: governments need to decide how deep their convictions are. If it's legal, it's legal. Don't try to ban it by putting it out of the reach of people - especially those who are statistically more likely to resort to other forms of addiction, i.e. the poor.

What brought this on? Oh, I was just reading Fizzle & Pop.

Collin is a commercial artist who will do commissions.

He has a son and daughter, the latter of whom has an imaginary friend called Kokeeno. And that's the cue (do you like the way I work?) for yet another Ranger anecdote:

I have a sister, now grown up, with a unique claim to fame (as far as I know) - she is the only child I have ever known whose imaginary friend had both a given name and a surname! I have never forgotten this! It used to amuse me endlessly. The imaginary friend's name was Kerry Garan.

I used to tease my sister by continually asking her 'Well how's Kerry doing today?' and she'd get mad and say 'It's not Kerry, it's Kerry GARAN!!'

Anyway, Collin does zany comics and has some cool art links. Check it out.

DISCLAIMER
The Ranger doesn't smoke cigarettes but will occasionally light up one of his two pipes (a Peterson and another brand he can't remember) when browsing blogs in his cosy study. The dog likes the aroma.

PS: If anyone else had or has an imaginary friend with a surname, especially Garan, please let me know. You should meet my sister.

What made Amanadoo quit as night auditor at a hotel?

Was it the guy who slept through his wake-up call and then abused her?

Is it the customers who fail to keep their activities confined to their rooms?

Is it continually having to be extra nice to customers even when they clearly haven't brushed their teeth?

Maybe it's just the boss.

Nah. It's definitely the customers.

Now, Amanadoo has put in notice via a letter under her boss's door but he didn't show up to work. Will she have second thoughts?

Stay tuned.

Mark Hancock of the Dallas Morning News blogs on photojournalism.

This is a fascinating look - from the inside - at how major news organisations gather and put together their photographic resources.

Hancock shows a heap of links to major newspapers, media organisations and photojournalism awards; and writes about his daily experiences with anecdotes and hints on journalism ... such as avoiding the gratuitous use of exclamation marks.

Hey, Mark! There's a typo in the Knight Ridder link!

UPDATE
The typo has been fixed. And The Ranger is going to stop being Mr Grammar Stickler.

A film reviewer called Mr Negative?

This is actually a really good movie blog.

Mr Negative on Johnny Depp in Secret Window:

'Johnny Depp resembles my Great Aunt Mary in this movie, but with facial hair. That is, Aunt Mary smoking a cigarette while making breakfast in her housecoat. Do people say housecoat anymore? Ok, I meant robe.'

Check it out.

Then cancel that show!

You!

And you!

Have I met these people before? I do see a lot of blogs. I really should get a life.

But I know I'm not going to any time soon. Reading blogs is too much fun. I enjoy all the minutiae of people's lives, the anecdotes, the funny stories.

Now here's a funny thing. Once I was listening to a song that was like, twenty years old, one of those hoary old tunes that gets played over and over on golden oldies radio stations and you tend to sing along with it, hoping it will, like, go away. Well, I wasn't listening as such, I was just kind of being in the room when it was on.

And without even thinking about it, I realised I had been 'hearing' and therefore singing a wrong word in one of the lines for all of that time, and on this occasion, the correct word made itself apparent. Why, I have no idea.

Heather tells a similar story about her mother who had to have Steve Miller's Joker lyrics explained to her, having confused beaches with peaches.

Oh, now I know where I've met some of these folks. Heather has a theory about why Derek is evil. Thank god for comments - Derek gets the right of reply.

The masthead is a Lemony Snicket reference. What a great name for an author.

Well, you need it when you're dealing with customers.

Especially library customers.

What is it, a blog or a search engine?

Time sure does fly when you're blogging, I'm sure many will have noticed.

But these guys, two baseball fans, are really getting ahead of themselves.

Check the post date and the archive date.

(Don't know how this could have happened. Anyone have any ideas?)

That's lovely. Seeing families helping each other get by really melts The Ranger's heart.

Uh-oh.

Derek's uncle is dead.

Seems in Derek's family, they see dead people.

I notice Derek's uncle became conspicuously (inconspicuously?) absent when Derek asked him to help clean up. Heh.

Proves you can be dead lazy, I guess.

Earlier, Derek's career was at a crossroads. Commercial artist or wrestler? Commercial artist or wrestler?

Along came Koko B. Ware and the rest was history.

Hello, commercial artist.

Check the doodles, they're really good. And the hockey mask art.

One time I was walking through the supermarket, probably getting some instant noodles or a can of tuna or maybe some milk or bread or coffee or something. I dunno, I can't remember.

I had my daughter with me. She was like about five or six, you know, the hyper-cute age, after they learn to be house-trained but before they go feral.

So we're like pushing the trolley along the aisle and my precious daughter comes right out and says to me, "Dad, what size bowling shoes do you take?" - just like that! - and stares at me, expectantly, waiting for an answer.

Like, "What size BOWLING shoes do I take?"!

Not what size normal shoes. Or what size running shoes, which I wear frequently.

You have to understand that not only had we not even been talking about bowling, I haven't actually ever been bowling.

To this day, it remains the funniest thing I have ever heard in my life.

*

Where was I? Oh, in nostalgia land, I'm afraid. Brought on by flipping through some sports-oriented blogs and coming across this well-written blog about bowling, among other subjects.

Angel describes the recruiting of a toddler to the game:

'Zoe mooches in a couple of shots with assistance. But that is not bowling, yet ... Her first game was at Rocket (as it should be, since she recognizes when we're going there from 3 blocks away), and her score was a nice, even 40. Later, at Corbin she managed a 53 or something close to that. The nice thing about Corbin is they have the ball speed monitor and Zoe comes in at a blistering 2.6 mph. Yes, she uses bumpers. Can she carry the ball herself? She can, but since it's more than 20% of her bodyweight, I prefer she not. She kneels at the foul line and away it goes. Slowly.'

Click on the bowling archive link for more.

*

I still don't know what size bowling shoes I take. I should find out one day.

Justin's life as a cinema student.

The life of a film student (top marks in Grip & Electric which sounds, according to one commenter, like a power tool), instalments of screenplays the author is writing, comments on movies and lots of other stuff.

Posts incorporate movie title references, easy to pick until now, as in Gone with the Title - however we are informed the references are about to get a whole lot more obscure.

Movie buffs, get out your reference books.

(Talking of movies - why, when you go to the cinema, is there always an end title credit for something you didn't see on the screen? For example, 'Unit 2 Horse Handler: Horse Wranglers R Us' after a movie in there was not a single horse?)

So the guy's a reality TV show writer.

Oh my. Are we going to go to town on him or WHAT!

No - can't. John has a dog. And a cat. And he grows irises. And his wife is a PhD.

See? What you think about someone based on what they do isn't always the case.

If you've seen Rushmore, you'll recognise the masthead quotation. There's lots of good stuff here - John quotes Kerouac advising aspiring writers to forget about the words and use the imagination.

(The Ranger has a confession to make: he has never read Kerouac.)

And, of course, all the usual stuff that goes on in TV studios worldwide. Check it out.

Was it Mr T? Or some guy wearing thongs and socks?

It's all about me.

Well that's the title. But not 'me' in a navel-gazing, look-at-me manner so common in blogs.

This is a down-to-earth slice of life diary by a mother of three who enjoys hockey and discussing politics. Easy to read because it's well-written.

Jenn plays the 'ask me three questions' game. That got the comments going!

Is Taelyn the world's youngest blogger, at eight weeks premature?

In a harsh world, this is just beautiful.

And so is Taelyn.

(Tanner and Sparke are cute too.)

Of course you do. Even I do. But I never will be. I'm too busy blogging.

Trials of a Self-Published Author is a new blog written by James Spade and devoted to the lonely, frustrating world of writing and publishing your very own work.

Hints, ideas, publishing problems and experiences, ways to write more and watch Friends less ...

Hmm. Maybe if I got off the internet I'd write more.